pls check my words and amend it, thanks!

[George.huang]

Today, I got up early for the meeting with G.manager who makes the final decision for my employment. I arrived the subway terminal at 7:30, it’s the first time that I take the subway such early. Because my last company was located near by my house, so I need not take the subway. There are a huge crowed of people waiting for the subway, It will be very dangerous that you are waiting beside of railway when many people crowed toward the subway. I saw several accidents in subway on TV before.

I spent more than one hour to arrive that company. I heard that it is usual that you spend one ~ two hour to go to your workplace in SHANGHAI, but it’s unusual to me who never encountered the heavy traffic on going to the workplace in the morning.

By the way, I introduce the subway in SHANGHAI to you. If you come to SHANGHAI, I hope it would be helpful to you.
There are 4 lines a total mileage of 104km operating now, Line 1 ~ 4. Also 6 lines are under constructing or extension, it will be the further eastern and western extension of Line 2, northern extension of Line 3, Line 7, Line 8, Line 9, Line 10. It will be with a total mileage of over 200km.

We are using “YI KA TONG” ticket system, If you have the YI’KA’TONG card, I need not buy a ticket. Firstly, You should reserve some money in it, and you just touch the pad of the ticket machine located entry and exit, the ticket machine will record starting station and arrival station of your card, the fare will deduct from the money you reserved in the card. This kind of card is also used in public traffic such as TAXI, AUTOBUS etc. If you have this card, you need not stand in a long line to buy the ticket.
The subway traffic peaks from 8:00 to 10:00 in the morning and from 4:00 PM to 6:00 PM at the evening.

[Pete]

Today, I got up early for the meeting with G.manager who makes the final decision for my employment. I arrived the subway terminal at 7:30, it’s the first time that I take the subway such early. Because my last company was located near by my house, so I need not take the subway. There are a huge crowed of people waiting for the subway, It will be very dangerous that you are waiting beside of railway when many people crowed toward the subway. I saw several accidents in subway on TV before.

I spent more than one hour to arrive that company. I heard that it is usual that you spend one ~ two hour to go to your workplace in SHANGHAI, but it’s unusual to me who never encountered the heavy traffic on going to the workplace in the morning.

By the way, I introduce the subway in SHANGHAI to you. If you come to SHANGHAI, I hope it would be helpful to you.
There are 4 lines a total mileage of 104km operating now, Line 1 ~ 4. Also 6 lines are under constructing or extension, it will be the further eastern and western extension of Line 2, northern extension of Line 3, Line 7, Line 8, Line 9, Line 10. It will be with a total mileage of over 200km.

We are using “YI KA TONG” ticket system, If you have the YI’KA’TONG card, I need not buy a ticket. Firstly, You should reserve some money in it, and you just touch the pad of the ticket machine located entry and exit, the ticket machine will record starting station and arrival station of your card, the fare will deduct from the money you reserved in the card. This kind of card is also used in public traffic such as TAXI, AUTOBUS etc. If you have this card, you need not stand in a long line to buy the ticket.
The subway traffic peaks from 8:00 to 10:00 in the morning and from 4:00 PM to 6:00 PM at the evening.
Here are some suggestions:

Today, I got up early for the meeting with G.manager who makes would make the final decision for about my employment. I arrived the subway terminal at 7:30,; it’s the first time that I take have taken the subway such so early. Because my last company was located near by my house, so I need not I didn't need to take the subway. There are a huge crowed of people waiting for the subway,. It will be is very dangerous that you are to be waiting beside of the railway rails when many people crowed crowd toward the subway. I saw have seen reports on TV of several accidents in on the subway on TV before.

I spent more than one hour to arrive getting to that company. I heard that it is usual that you spend one ~ or two hour hours to go to your workplace in SHANGHAI, but it’s unusual to for me, who never encountered the heavy traffic on while going to the my workplace in the morning.

By the way, I will introduce the subway in SHANGHAI to you. If you come to SHANGHAI, I hope it would be helpful to you.
There are 4 lines a total mileage length {You use the word mileage when you express the distance in miles.} of 104km operating now, Lines 1 ~ 4. Also 6 lines are under constructing or extension, : it there will be the further eastern and western extensions of Line 2, a northern extension of Line 3, and new lines, Line 7, Line 8, Line 9, Line 10. It will be with a total mileage There will be a total length of over 200km.

We are using the “YI KA TONG” ticket system, If you have the YI’KA’TONG card, I you need not buy a ticket. Firstly, You should reserve some money in it, and then you just touch the pad of the ticket machine located at the entry and exit,. The ticket machine will record the starting station and the arrival station of your card, and the fare will be deducted from the money you reserved in on the card. This kind of card is also used in public traffic such as TAXI, AUTOBUS etc. If you have this card, you need not stand in a long line to buy the a ticket.
The subway traffic peaks from 8:00 to 10:00 in the morning and from 4:00 PM to 6:00 PM at the evening.

NOTE-- As a single essay, this is a bit confusing. It begins as though it is a personal story about your search for a job. Just as we become interested, before we can discover the outcome, the emphasis shifts to a detail about the danger of using subways at rush hour, and ultimately it turns into a general set of instructions for using subways in Shanghai coupled with a discussion of subway growth. It will be less confusing for your readers if you select a single subject and cover it in a more consistant manner.

(I'm still curious about the outcome of the search for employment.)