Thesis Statement

[cc one]

I am going to talk about that divorce is not a good thing.
Here is my thesis statement, if you have any comments, anything you want to add, please feel free to do that :)

Divorce is negative in seen a light of day, such as effects of divorce on society, on children, on women.

[Pete]

I am going to talk about that divorce is not a good thing.
Here is my thesis statement, if you have any comments, anything you want to add, please feel free to do that :)

Divorce is negative in seen a light of day, such as effects of divorce on society, on children, on women.

I'll try to make this into a grammatically correct sentence:

- Divorce is negative when seen by the light of day, especially when one considers the effects of divorce on society, on children, and on women.

Note: an essay that merely lists negative effects of something isn't usually convincing. It would be better to give an honest treatment of both positive and negative effects, and then you could attempt to show why you believe the negative effects outway the positive effects (such as freeing one spouse, usualy the wife, from a physically abusive partner).