who vs whom

[Anonymous]

hello everybody
I' ve got a tiny weeny question about a sentence I came across in my grammar book:
The success of a shared holiday depends on who / whom you share it with.
according to the key the correct answer is 'whom', but I' d be more inclined to say 'who' ( but I' m no native speaker). Could you enlighten me on that? TIA
kamila

[Camilus]

Hello, kamila
If you don't mind, I'll try to help you out. If what I give isn't enough or wrong, I believe Pete and Rusty will help you.

Here are three ways you can use relative pronoun who/whom.

1. When the relative pronoun becomes a subject of the relative (adjective) clause you use who:"John is the only one who understands me"

2. When the relative pronoun becomes an object of the relative (adjective) clause you can use either who or whom. The first one, however, is probably much more common while the second can be used in formal, academic writing. "John is the only one who/whom I understand."

3. When the relative pronoun comes after a preposition (becomes an object a preposition), you use whom. "John, speaking of whom, is my friend."

I would say that your sentence classes with the second category.

I hope that helps

[Anonymous]

hi, thanks for your reply, but actually I don' t quite find your explanation totally convincing. I' d rather think what we have to do with here is another rule which says that whom (or "which", which is not the case here) should be used after prepositions (like: the man with whom I used to go to school). However, it doesn' t sound right to me in the sentence I quoted. The other preposition at the end of the sentence makes me want to say "who" , not "whom". I really need a native speaker' s comment on that :))

[Pete]

Camilus' answer is correct, and actually it explains the answer that sounds correct to you. You noted that the relative pronoun comes after the preposition "on", but that does NOT automatically mean that the pronoun is the object of the preposition. In this case, the whole noun clause that follows the preposition is its object, and the case of the relative pronoun depends on its use in its clause, not how the clause as a whole is used.

Both you and Camilus are correct that traditional, formal rules of English grammar call for the pronoun to be "whom", since it is the object of the preposition "with" at the end of the sentence (though traditional formal English rules would try to avoid the preposition at the end), but in informal English, it is common (and generally considered standard) to use "who" instead of "whom" for the relative pronoun except when it is the object of a preposition that comes right before it. (I generally would say "whom", but many native speakers of English would fine "who" more natural. I've learned not to criticize that use.)

Yes, this is a confusing point. What is happening is that English is changing as we speak it, and some people still want the old rules to be followed, while others say it is ok to go along with the changes since a majority of people do just that.

[Anonymous]

Thanks to both of you, Camilus and Pete. After I reread Camilus' answer I finally got the point. kind of slow-witted of me :) Anyway thank you both for your explanation.
k.

[Jarod]

hello all,
well kamila problem was genuine and Mr comlis described it very well...i liked it, and also clear my mistake as well
thanks

[Marius Hancu]

In published books, the stats are very close:

808 on "depends on who you".
http://books.google.com/books?q=%22depends+on++who+you%22&btnG=Search+Books

701 on "depends on whom you"
http://books.google.com/books?q=%22depends+on++whom+you%22&btnG=Search+Books