PDA

View Full Version : pls correct


Anonymous
02-08-2005, 05:55 AM
Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
=================================

Some scientists are planning to change planet Mars, so that it is habitable for human beings. They have a very impressive and plausible detailed project to change planet Mars. First they would bring some machines to Mars which would pump out tons of greenhouse gases into Mars atmosphere which would warm the atmosphere of Mars from what it is now freezing cold with blizzards of sands and harsh wind. The warm weather would also melt the ice underneath the earth. Then, they would introduce green plants into Mars which produce oxygen into the atmosphere and it may take several decades before we can breathe in Mars. At that time, we can bring animals with us to move to Mars to live. We can build houses, factories, bridges etc on Mars. We can cultivate wheat, rice, corn etc on Mars. We can raise cattle, lamb, chickens etc on Mars. We can do whatever we want on Mars just like what we are doing on Earth now. It seems that we can make another planet Earth with blue sky and clear water.

That is not a science fiction, that is real and I also believe that we can do it in the coming one or two centuries. However, wait a second. Can we really be able to make another planet Earth. We may be able to warm up the atmosphere and melt the frozen ice under the earth. We may be able to produce oxygen in Mars by introducing plants into Mars. We may be able to bring animals with us to move to Mars to live. We may be able to cultivate and build houses and factories for us to live on Mars. But is that really another planet Earth?

I don’t think so. Planet Earth is unique and beautiful in the universe, it‘s not because it has blue sky and clear water. It’s not because it is hospitable for human beings. It’s not because we can cultivate and build houses and factories on this blue planet. It is unique and beautiful, it’s because it has a very large diversity of animals and plants on this planet. We may be able to bring thousands of animals and plants to Mars though, we will never be able to move all species of living creatures to Mars. The large diversity of living creatures is not created in one century or two but is created by the nature over billions of years. Though we human can change and tame the harsh and unpredictable environment, we can not replace the nature by ourselves. If we don’t cherish the nature which we have now, we will not have it again. We will lose it forever.

In fact, we are facing another mass extinction after Jurassic. Though it doesn’t happen as drastically as Jurassic which an asteroid hit the Earth and killed thousands of animals and plants in a second. We have lost many precious and beautiful animals in the last century like Tasmanian tigers and dodoes and we are going to lose more in this century like whales, tigers and lions etc. If we still only think about ourselves like farmland, houses and industry without considering other gorgeous and wonderful animals and plants on Earth, we are going to make Earth become an artificial, tailor-made Mars which is suitable for us to live.

Pete
02-08-2005, 07:12 PM
Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
=================================

[See the corrections below ...]

-- Here are specific corrections:

Some scientists are planning to change the planet Mars, so that it is habitable for human beings. They have a very impressive and plausible detailed project to change <strike>planet</strike> Mars. First they would bring some machines to Mars which would pump out tons of greenhouse gases into Mars' atmosphere which would warm the atmosphere of Mars from what it is now, freezing cold with blizzards of sands and harsh wind. The warm weather would also melt the ice underneath the <strike>earth</strike> soil. [In this context, "earth" might be mistaken to a reference to this planet.] Then, they would introduce green plants into Mars which produce oxygen and discharge it into the atmosphere;it may take several decades before we can breathe in Mars. At that time, we can bring animals with us to move to Mars to live. We can build houses, factories, bridges etc on Mars. We can cultivate wheat, rice, corn etc on Mars. We can raise cattle, lamb, chickens etc on Mars. We can do whatever we want on Mars just like what we are doing on Earth now. It seems that we can make another planet Earth with blue sky and clear water.

That is not a science fiction; it is real and I also believe that we can do it in the coming one or two centuries. However, wait a second. <strike>Can</strike> Are we really <strike>be</strike> able to make another planet Earth. We may be able to warm up the atmosphere and melt the frozen ice under the earth. We may be able to produce oxygen <strike>in</strike> on Mars by introducing plants into Mars. We may be able to bring animals with us to move to Mars to live. We may be able to cultivate and build houses and factories for us to live on Mars. But is that really another planet Earth?

I don’t think so. Planet Earth is unique and beautiful in the universe. It‘s not because it has blue sky and clear water. It’s not because it is hospitable for human beings. It’s not because we can cultivate and build houses and factories on this blue planet. It is unique and beautiful<strike>, it’s</strike> because it has a very large diversity of animals and plants on this planet. We may be able to bring thousands of animals and plants to Mars though, we will never be able to move all species of living creatures to Mars. The large diversity of living creatures <strike>is</strike> was not created in one century or two but <strike>is</strike> was created by the nature over billions of years. Though we human can change and tame the harsh and unpredictable environment, we can not replace <strike>the</strike> nature by ourselves. If we don’t cherish the nature which we have now, we will not have it again. We will lose it forever.

In fact, we are facing another mass extinction after Jurassic, though it <strike>doesn’t happen</strike> isn't happening as drastically as in the Jurassic <strike>which</strike> when an asteroid hit the Earth and killed thousands of animals and plants in a second. We have lost many precious and beautiful animals in the last century, like Tasmanian tigers and dodoes, and we are going to lose more in this century like whales, tigers and lions etc. If we still only think about ourselves like farmland, houses and industry without considering other gorgeous and wonderful animals and plants on Earth, we are going to make Earth become an artificial, tailor-made Mars which is suitable for us to live.

-- An interesting essay, but mostly I think it was not responsive to the assignment. It said a lot about transforming Mars (repeating most of the facts a second time), but about the question of why saving endangered animals is important, it said they are unique and beautiful and if we kill them off, we won't have them anymore; but that's about all it said. It just stated that as an opinion, without giving proof that this is bad. It didn't address at all the problem of providing food and living space for humanity.

Of course I don't know how your teacher will respond.

Anonymous
02-09-2005, 09:27 AM
I also agree that my essay isn't very good and perhaps it is off topic. I didn't give enough proofs and examples in my essay and I also didn't write much about the need of farmland, housing, industry and why we have to reserve the endangered animals.
When I saw the title, the first thing flashed into my mind is us human against wildlife. If we want farmland, houses, industry etc., then we have to sacrifice the wildlife and I really don't want to see it to happen. We human shouldn't be selfish which only think of ourselves without considering other precious creatures. My whole essay was focused on this issue and my standpoint was very clear which is to save the wildlife.
Finally, I appreciate your help.
P.S. I don't have any teacher at all, I write essay is to practise my English because I have no English native speakers to speak to and this is the only way which I can get feedback on my grammer to improve my English.