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Anonymous
02-09-2005, 05:53 AM
Dear teacher, following is the second part of my story: Black and white gloves
Three months ago, there was a horrible argument between Vy and his girlfriend. Phuong got on her motorbike and went away in a flash. The terrible speed, together with the fearful sounds made the whole studio still silent. He ran after her but she had disappeared. For a whole day long, Vy got to everywhere they had come together, he also called some friends and relatives. In the afternoon, to his dismay, he drove out to the suburb. By the side of the lonely pond, where he used to read and fish, Phuong had already been sitting there for a long time.
- Phuong, I have never so threatened like this before!
- And I have been waiting for you for a long time. She gazed at the still pond surface. - Let's never argue with each other!
Vy sat by his lover. He picked up some pieces of stone, throwing far into the pond. The water splashed and gradually faded, as what he wished to tell her but still, they were caught in silence. Suddenly, Phuong turn to him and murmured:
- I can't stand the thought that you would be left alone. Tell me that you need me, and I'll put off the flight. Right now, I'm thinking of a quite brand new life.
It took a long time for that begging being deeply understood by him, and leaving its grievous sorrow. But at that moment, he considered it as her hesitance with some little sympathy. She should have left last year; but with the reason that her study at the conservatory hadn't finished, she stayed to the anger of her family. But at the moment, she could not delay her leaving any more. Vy held Phuong's fingers, with … because of too much practice.
- Tell me that you need me! That we have just started! With your belief, we can live pleasantly, and work out something good. - Phuong pulled back her hands, lowering her voice.
- But if you leave, you'll have the chance to study at famous colleges. It's more important. - Vy reminded her. - And me, I'll be a normal musician, no one knows.
- I see. - Phuong said indifferently. - It's simply because you have never needed me actually!
They said nothing more. The sky was very high and deep above them. A bird flashed by, singing strange sounds as if they have come from a different world. In the nest days, Phuong still prepared for her flight at ease. She still practised as usually for the orchestral performance at the end of the year. There was no more argument between them, but there had already been a serious crack. At the airport, when Phuong got into the lounge, Vy gently touched her beloved face: " I'll wait for you! " " No need so. Enjoy your life! " - She slightly streched up to kissed his forehead, then walked fast through the narrow door, not turning back once. That kiss seemed to be too freezing to him…

Rusty
02-09-2005, 01:35 PM
Dear teacher, following is the second part of my story: Black and white gloves
Three months ago, there was a horrible argument between Vy and his girlfriend. Phuong got on her motorbike and went away in a flash. The terrible speed, together with the fearful sounds made the whole studio still silent. He ran after her but she had disappeared. For a whole day long, Vy got to everywhere they had come together, he also called some friends and relatives. In the afternoon, to his dismay, he drove out to the suburb. By the side of the lonely pond, where he used to read and fish, Phuong had already been sitting there for a long time.
- Phuong, I have never so threatened like this before!
- And I have been waiting for you for a long time. She gazed at the still pond surface. - Let's never argue with each other!
Vy sat by his lover. He picked up some pieces of stone, throwing far into the pond. The water splashed and gradually faded, as what he wished to tell her but still, they were caught in silence. Suddenly, Phuong turn to him and murmured:
- I can't stand the thought that you would be left alone. Tell me that you need me, and I'll put off the flight. Right now, I'm thinking of a quite brand new life.
It took a long time for that begging being deeply understood by him, and leaving its grievous sorrow. But at that moment, he considered it as her hesitance with some little sympathy. She should have left last year; but with the reason that her study at the conservatory hadn't finished, she stayed to the anger of her family. But at the moment, she could not delay her leaving any more. Vy held Phuong's fingers, with … because of too much practice.
- Tell me that you need me! That we have just started! With your belief, we can live pleasantly, and work out something good. - Phuong pulled back her hands, lowering her voice.
- But if you leave, you'll have the chance to study at famous colleges. It's more important. - Vy reminded her. - And me, I'll be a normal musician, no one knows.
- I see. - Phuong said indifferently. - It's simply because you have never needed me actually!
They said nothing more. The sky was very high and deep above them. A bird flashed by, singing strange sounds as if they have come from a different world. In the nest days, Phuong still prepared for her flight at ease. She still practised as usually for the orchestral performance at the end of the year. There was no more argument between them, but there had already been a serious crack. At the airport, when Phuong got into the lounge, Vy gently touched her beloved face: " I'll wait for you! " " No need so. Enjoy your life! " - She slightly streched up to kissed his forehead, then walked fast through the narrow door, not turning back once. That kiss seemed to be too freezing to him…

Dear teacher, following is the second part of my story: Black and white gloves
Three months ago, there was a horrible argument between Vy and his girlfriend. Phuong got on her motorbike and went away in a flash.Suggestion: left in a flash/was gone in a flash. The terrible speed, together with the fearful sounds made the whole studio still silent. Do you mean that it was after the sound died down that the studio seemed silent? He ran after her but she had disappeared. For a whole day long, Vy got/went to every place <strike>where</strike> they had been <strike>come</strike> together; he also called some friends and relatives. In the afternoon, <strike>to his</strike> in dismay, he drove out to the suburbs. By the side of the lonely pond where he used to read and fish, Phuong had already been sitting <strike>there</strike> for a long time.
- Phuong, I have never so threatened like this before! Unclear. Do you mean Vy felt threatened?
- And I have been waiting for you for a long time. She gazed at the still pond surface. - Let's never argue with each other!
Vy sat by his lover. He picked up some pieces of stone/some small stones, throwing them far into the pond. The water splashed and gradually faded, as did what he wished to tell her, but still, they were caught in silence. Suddenly, Phuong turn to him and murmured:
- I can't stand the thought that you would be left alone. Tell me that you need me, and I'll put off the flight. Right now, I'm thinking of a quite brand new life.
It took a long time for that begging to be <strike>being</strike> deeply understood by him, and <strike>leaving its</strike> it left a grievous sorrow. This sentence seems awkward.
But at that moment, he considered it <u>as her hesitance</u> with some little sympathy. I don't get this.
She should have left last year; but with the <strike>reason</strike> excuse that her study at the conservatory hadn't finished, she stayed, to the anger of her family. But at the moment, she could not delay her leaving any more. Vy held Phuong's fingers, with Suggested word: familiarity… because of too much practice.
- Tell me that you need me! That we have just started! With your belief, we can live pleasantly, and work out something good. - Phuong pulled back her hands, lowering her voice.
- But if you leave, you'll have the chance to study at famous colleges. It's more important. - Vy reminded her. - And me, I'll be a normal musician; no one knows.
- I see. - Phuong said indifferently. - It's simply because you have never needed me actually!
They said nothing more. The sky was very high and deep above them. A bird flashed by, singing strange sounds as if they <strike>have</strike> had come from a different world. In the next days, Phuong still prepared for her flight at ease. Suggestion: Phuong went on preparing for her flight with ease. She still practised as usually for the orchestral performance at the end of the year. There was no more argument between them, but there had already been a serious crack. At the airport, when Phuong got into the lounge, Vy gently touched her beloved face: " I'll wait for you! " " No need so. Enjoy your life! " - She <strike>slightly streched up to kissed</strike> she stretched up slightly to kiss his forehead, then walked <strike>fast</strike> quickly through the narrow door, not turning back once. That kiss seemed to be / too cold / freezing to him…

Anonymous
02-12-2005, 05:28 AM
Dear teacher, thank you very much for your help, but I still have some questions to ask you:
The terrible speed, together with the fearful sounds made the whole studio still silent. I meaned that after she had left the whole studio was completely silent

Phuong, I have never so threatened like this before! Unclear. Do you mean Vy felt threatened? I meaned that Vy was afraid that Phuong could do something silly and harmful.

It took a long time for that begging to be being deeply understood by him, and leaving its it left a grievous sorrow I agree that I should review this sentence

Vy held Phuong's fingers, with Suggested word: familiarity… because of too much practice. You know that a porter or someone who have to work hard with their hands always have rough and thick hands. So, what I wish to know here is a noun that describe that thing. You know that the same thing happen to violists or guitarist.

That kiss seemed to be / too cold / freezing to him… I don't know which noun is used to describe the characters that are printed on the paper by a tools, it's used by some officials or in some company. So that i could use it here.