can anybody read my sentence?

[bbmak]

This is a thesis.
I want to know that is my thesis clear enough for you when you read it.
If any confusions, please let me know. I will talk about the reasons that prisoners being abuses in iraq in my essay are because Comfomity, Obedience, lack of leadership, and war environment in my essay, and can u tell me which one is better to use for thesis?

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The causes of the abuse to prisoners that occur in Iraq are because the guards needed to conform in the military in order to survive, obeyed to the authorities that made the guards adapted to the abusive behavior very rapid, were lack of leadership in the prison, and were in a hostile war environment.
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The causes of the abuse to prisoners that occur in Iraq are because the guards conformed, obeyed, were lack of leadership in the prison, and were in a hostile war environment.
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[Pete]

This is a thesis.
I want to know that is my thesis clear enough for you when you read it.
If any confusions, please let me know. I will talk about the reasons that prisoners being abuses in iraq in my essay are because Comfomity, Obedience, lack of leadership, and war environment in my essay, and can u tell me which one is better to use for thesis?

============================================
The causes of the abuse to prisoners that occur in Iraq are because the guards needed to conform in the military in order to survive, obeyed to the authorities that made the guards adapted to the abusive behavior very rapid, were lack of leadership in the prison, and were in a hostile war environment.
============================================

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The causes of the abuse to prisoners that occur in Iraq are because the guards conformed, obeyed, were lack of leadership in the prison, and were in a hostile war environment.
============================================
I find the first statement confusing. The parts don't all make sense.

The second is fairly good. It has a problem that the sentence implies that its parts are parallel, but they really have different subjects. Try something like:
- The causes of the abuse to prisoners that occured in Iraq are <strike>because</strike> that the guards conformed and obeyed improper orders; there was a lack of leadership in the prison; and the personnel were in a hostile war environment.