trix
09-14-2005, 10:36 AM
"The barangay captain hi as me what you have done you start. I'm going to municipality I was attend on here sission. The member of the council took me, 'What is your porpose?' To attend the sission, I answers them. To help the people of barangay to developing the area."
CAN you understand what the statement above means? Well, that's what I received in one of the reports that I have to edit. Reading between the lines and picturing in the mind what the "writer" is talking about, you may be able to grasp his idea.
But to think of it, the "writer" is a college graduate. How was he able to graduate? Only he can tell.
Alan C. Robles, who writes a regular column for the "South China Morning Post," observes: "Once, Filipinos liked to say theirs was the third-largest English-speaking country in the world, after the US and Britain. I do not know if it was ever true, but any claim to English dominance would have to be prefaced with 'sort of.'" If you believe Filipinos alone are bad when it comes to English, think twice.
Consider these signs spotted from all over the world: A Bangkok dry cleaner asks its customers to: "Drop your trousers here for best results." A laundry in Rome proves it knows la dolce vita: "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time." A Norwegian cocktail lounge isn't asking for much: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."
In the window of a Barcelona travel agency that may not last long: "Go away." Obviously, not everyone works for a salary at the Budapest zoo: "Please, do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guards on duty."
Hotels are good sources of humorous signs. In Mexico, Hotel de Paseo pleads: "We sorry to advise you that by a electric desperfect in the generator master of the elevator, we have the necessity that don't give service at our distinguishable guests." In Bucharest, a hotel posted this notice: "The lift is being fixed for the next four days. During this time, you will be unbearable." In Hotel Deustschland, Leipzig: "Do not enter the lift backwards and only when lit up." A Tokyo hotel has this notice on its elevator doors: "Do Not Open Door Until Door Opens First."
Another Tokyo hotel placed this elevator sign: "Keep your hands away from unnecessary buttons for you." Still another Tokyo hotel posted: "Is forbidden to steal towels, please. If you are not person to do such, please not to read notice." Restaurants have their own share, too. From a little restaurant in Mexico City: "U.S. Hots Dog." The Restaurant des Artistes, Montmartre: "We serve five o'clock tea at all hours." This notice was placed on every table in the dining room at a restaurant: "All vegetables in this establishment have been washed in water especially passed by the management."
Some people have their own way of promoting their businesses. A butcher in Nahariyya, Israel: "I slaughter myself twice daily." A dentist in Hong Kong: "Teeth extracted by latest Methodists." This from a barber in Zanzibar: "Gentlemen's throats cut with nice sharp razors." A barber in Tokyo is even more direct: "All customers promptly executed."
Accidents happen all the time. And below are some accident reports submitted to an insurance company and were published in the Toronto Sun: "Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree that I don't have."
"The guy was all over the road: I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished."
"I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a skull fracture."
"The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front."
"The pedestrian had no idea of which way to go, so I ran over him."
Well, there you have it.
English, anyone?
khoa@sanpedrocollege.org (http://us.f543.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=khoa@sanpedrocollege.org)
CAN you understand what the statement above means? Well, that's what I received in one of the reports that I have to edit. Reading between the lines and picturing in the mind what the "writer" is talking about, you may be able to grasp his idea.
But to think of it, the "writer" is a college graduate. How was he able to graduate? Only he can tell.
Alan C. Robles, who writes a regular column for the "South China Morning Post," observes: "Once, Filipinos liked to say theirs was the third-largest English-speaking country in the world, after the US and Britain. I do not know if it was ever true, but any claim to English dominance would have to be prefaced with 'sort of.'" If you believe Filipinos alone are bad when it comes to English, think twice.
Consider these signs spotted from all over the world: A Bangkok dry cleaner asks its customers to: "Drop your trousers here for best results." A laundry in Rome proves it knows la dolce vita: "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time." A Norwegian cocktail lounge isn't asking for much: "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."
In the window of a Barcelona travel agency that may not last long: "Go away." Obviously, not everyone works for a salary at the Budapest zoo: "Please, do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guards on duty."
Hotels are good sources of humorous signs. In Mexico, Hotel de Paseo pleads: "We sorry to advise you that by a electric desperfect in the generator master of the elevator, we have the necessity that don't give service at our distinguishable guests." In Bucharest, a hotel posted this notice: "The lift is being fixed for the next four days. During this time, you will be unbearable." In Hotel Deustschland, Leipzig: "Do not enter the lift backwards and only when lit up." A Tokyo hotel has this notice on its elevator doors: "Do Not Open Door Until Door Opens First."
Another Tokyo hotel placed this elevator sign: "Keep your hands away from unnecessary buttons for you." Still another Tokyo hotel posted: "Is forbidden to steal towels, please. If you are not person to do such, please not to read notice." Restaurants have their own share, too. From a little restaurant in Mexico City: "U.S. Hots Dog." The Restaurant des Artistes, Montmartre: "We serve five o'clock tea at all hours." This notice was placed on every table in the dining room at a restaurant: "All vegetables in this establishment have been washed in water especially passed by the management."
Some people have their own way of promoting their businesses. A butcher in Nahariyya, Israel: "I slaughter myself twice daily." A dentist in Hong Kong: "Teeth extracted by latest Methodists." This from a barber in Zanzibar: "Gentlemen's throats cut with nice sharp razors." A barber in Tokyo is even more direct: "All customers promptly executed."
Accidents happen all the time. And below are some accident reports submitted to an insurance company and were published in the Toronto Sun: "Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree that I don't have."
"The guy was all over the road: I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished."
"I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a skull fracture."
"The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front."
"The pedestrian had no idea of which way to go, so I ran over him."
Well, there you have it.
English, anyone?
khoa@sanpedrocollege.org (http://us.f543.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=khoa@sanpedrocollege.org)