Significant Other

[ngamary]

Dear Teachers and friends,

a. He told me that having girl and guy friends is common in Europe, and that people don’t make a big deal out of it.
- “don’t make a big deal out of it” means “don’t think it’s that important”, right?

b. This is my girlfriend.
- Instead of saying the sentence above, Can I say “This is my significant other.”? and is this common?

Thanks

Ngamary

[Mister Micawber]

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1-- Yes
2-- A girlfriend in my book is not quite a significant other; the latter is the equivalent of a wife, but without the license. Others may have different opinions though.
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[oishii]

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1-- Yes
2-- A girlfriend in my book is not quite a significant other; the latter is the equivalent of a wife, but without the license. Others may have different opinions though.
.

Hi,

I agree with Mister Micawber that you have to look at 'significant other' as a matter of degree of intimacy in the relationship between two people.

I find that I use 'significant other' more loosely though because I use it in reporting for my work to refer to people who have a particular influence in another person's life. I found a definition online which captures both ways of using 'significant other.' Perhaps this definition will help you to determine when to substitute 'significant other' for 'girlfriend'

significant other
n.

A person, such as a spouse or lover, with whom one shares a long-term sexual relationship.

A person, such as a family member or close friend, who is important or influential in one's life: “The most important variable in successful smoking cessation is the support of significant others in the new nonsmoker's life” (Carolyn Reuben).

I tend to use the term to suit definition #2 (perhaps because it suits the terminology at work) whereas I believe Mr. Micawber is referring to definition #1 (which may be the way most people view the term).

I suppose in the end whether you choose to use 'significant other' instead of 'girlfriend' may depend upon how much a part of the person's life that female companion is. It reminds me of the use of 'partner'. Some people prefer to refer to their companion as 'partner' rather than girlfriend or boyfriend and I imagine that choice demonstrates a greater commitment between the two people than if they were just dating.

Hope my explanation didn't complicate the matter.

Take care

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[Mister Micawber]

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Yes, I agree with oishii's more thorough analysis.
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[danmahaffey]

I would not, however, refer to anyone I cared about as my significant other.

The term has a clinical, detached, abstract sense to it that allows it to be used safely about your friends by people who do not know you or them.

For intimates, either name the relationship outright, or simply name the person, in this way: This is my girlfriend, or This is Marcy. Otherwise, Marcy will think you rude.